Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Hebrews 12:1

We have been STAAR testing this week so as a hall monitor I have had plenty of time to finally read some books that have been collecting dust on my shelf. I finished the book I bought over spring break titled "It Was Me All Along" by Andie Mitchell which I highly suggest you read.

She lost 135 pounds and keeps it off even as a food lover! It's a memoir of her life and how when she lost 135 pounds and realized how to have a healthy relationship with food and excercise. If you want to read it you can buy it HERE.

The success of her book stemmed from her blog which I actually stumbled upon back when I began this blog in 2012. She is a true inspiration and you can read her blog at Can You Stay For Dinner. 

NOW the book I dove into yesterday that is inspiring the HECK out of me is one I bought about 5 years ago and never read. Yyyyyyeah I am one of those book people. It's called Fat Chance and it is a book by Julie Hadden who was a contestant on The Biggest Loser.

 Im reading the book and I get to page 30

 "Looking back, Im stung by the reality of how my food addiction would affect Noah in his early childhood. Any reasonable person would be shocked to see a drug addict taking her child into the crack house with her. You and I would both look down on an alcoholic who loaded her child into the car just before taking a spin fully drunk. But somehow it was lost on me that I was doing the very same thing. I was enveloping Noach in my addiction, without any regard for his life. What I ate is what he ate. My sedentary life was his sedentary life. All of my bad choices were his bad choices, simply beacuse he was my son. My six fast-food meals a week became his fast-food habit too. My couch-potato ways became his lethargy as well. What kind of mother would do this? It's not the mom I wanted to be." 

 And I pulled out my pen and underlined that passage and put a huge star by it so that I could remember


Later in the book she talks about how as a fat person you have low self-esteem and low self worth which is how the cycle continues. I am not worth the effort to make a change. BUT when you are doing something for your child it takes on this whole new importance.

 "When Mike and I attended Noah's soccer games, I'd refuse to stand up and cheer because I knew that my arms and my midsection would jiggle. Worse than that, I denied him the delight of swimming with his buddies because I couldn't bring myself to go to the neighborhood pool during "normal" hours. I'd wait until late afternoon and watch him swim alone, while nobody was around to see me ... Big FAT me." 

 Wow! So now not only are my bad habits going to affect my child but my lack of self worth and confidence are going to cause my child pain as well. Will I be able to run with her to fly a kite? Will I fit on roller coasters with her when we go to amusement parks? Will I be too embarrassed to take her down the water slide at a public pool?

 "Even if you feel you're not worth the fight involved in changing your life, someone else is!" 

My blog started with a journey to get pregnant at a healthy weight because of the issues you can have as an obese pregnant woman. The idea of being pregnant was enough motivation to get me down 75 pounds! Then I got pregnant and gained about 40 of it back and then about 10 during the first year of being a stay at home mom and starving breast feeder! I re-titled this blog "momma" because all along she has been my motivation. When I'm jogging and it hurts and sucks and I want to quit I talk to myself out loud and make lists of why its important for HER that I do this. PLUS I plan on trying to have a second child in the next year so I have double the reason to push myself and not give up this fight to get to a healthy weight.

 Later in the book Julie is recalling moments from The Biggest Loser when another contestant, Bill, describes his motivation.

 "To be half the man so I can be twice the man" He told of a time he went to ride a roller coaster with his daughter but couldn't wedge himself into the seat. His daughter, who constantly worried about her dad's weight tried to console him, but her words made him feel worse. "Kids shouldn't have to wonder if their dad's going to be around. I want to lose half of my weight so that I can be twice as active in my kids lives!"

 Ok I'm only three chapters in and we are going full on HEY FAT MOM YOU BETTER GET IT TOGETHER! Emma is still at the age where she isn't really aware that I'm not a great example of health. She is old enough to eat all foods though and she's old enough to see mommy and daddy eating and want to eat off of our plate. That's been a huge motivator in making good food choices.

 Another big part of Julie's story is how her faith motivated her. She references scripture and music lyrics often that have helped her on her journey to lose weight. The one I underlined, starred, and wrote down was Hebrews 12:1

 " Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked for us."

 So I can run the race or I can sit on a couch and watch it go by me. I can fight while I'm young and have the physical ability to put in the amount of effort losing 100 pounds is going to take or I can decide to just be fat forever. Do I want the change badly enough to pursue the person I deserve to be?

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