Friday, September 7, 2012

OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!



I HAVE LOST 55 POUNDS

                   


Are you serious? .... ARE YOU SERIOUS?

This is not something that I thought I could do when I started!


The sad thing is I don't feel like I look like I have lost 55 pounds. You know how when skinny people lose like 10 pounds its real obvious and on me 55 doesn't look THAT much different. WELL in my head it doesn't but apparently to other people I do look different because I am getting a ton of attention on it. People at work who don't know how much I weigh or follow or even know I write a blog have been asking me what I have been doing and asking me for workout and dieting advice so OBVIOUSLY they can see I have lost a significant amount. I think I have body dysmorphia!


I just hope that feeling goes away. I think the main thing is because you know how those ads say "I lost 60 pounds and went from a size 18 to a size 8" or something like that. UHHHH I aint no damn size 8 so what the hell people? I only lost about 1-2 sizes. Yes I am wearing clothes that I couldn't wear before but I think once I am in a 16 or 14 I will feel better. One of the things I think may be wrong with me is that I think I forgot what my body was like before. I feel like I looked skinnier when I was this weight in college...maybe I wasn't I can't remember now. I feel like maybe I weighed around 212 at my lowest weight in college so I am close to that now and hopefully in 10-15 more pounds I will feel like I look like that girl again. I don't know I am looking through photos from GASP 6 years ago and I think that in some I look thinner but not in all of them. It may be the extra tan skin and the super long hair??? 

Either way I am not done so it doesn't really matter. THIS SHOULD BE EXCITING not a moment to say "why do I still feel fat?" 

GIVE MYSELF PROPS 

1. Yesterday I did 40 sit ups! 10 used to kill me and now I can do 40? AWESOME 
2. I have worn 2 pairs of pants I could never button but was ashamed to return 
3. I have made the gym a part of my routine and habits and now I can't imagine not going to the gym 
4. My eating habits have become just that - habit! I don't crave the fast food anymore and I don't feel sad when I don't eat seconds or load up a HUGE plate. 
5. I haven't had a diet coke in 3 weeks. 
6. I HAVE LOST 55 pounds in the last 8 months - slow but steady wins the race 






Not to mention the way I look is not the reason I started this in the first place. I shouldn't let that become my focus but instead that my life is changing and that I am becoming healthy and that my body is happy not my mirror! 

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